Some body rockin' knockin' pop blockin' the what?

With all this hullabaloo about innuendos and the like, I've decided to become more focused on creating a quality product, and by "product" I mean "nude calendar."

Seriously, this may be the best idea we've ever had. It's like we just skipped ahead and got a degree in marketing in a day and a half.

We should pay ourselves more than we do, we deserve it.

On another note, our steady climb to the top of the $%*@^ -in-cheek molehill is that "somehow" the name of this website has leaked out to the kids at the school I work at. So:

Either there are a lot of kids googling the name 'Lawrence Long" (which is not as cool as you'd think - it's grade school)

Or

I do not have the maturity necessary to be in charge of children.

Let's see how the numbers rise and let the chips fall where they may

The Casting Couch is on Top

If you've been keeping track of YouTube views of our shorts (who hasn't?), you know that three of our shorts crossed the 100 views mark last week, with "The Casting Couch" out-pacing them all.

Yes, "Post No Bills" is gaining fast, but we'll see if it has legs, or it was just a sprint and now it's lying on the grass, gasping for breath.

No, there will not be updates on every milestone (but 500, 1000, 2000 are important numbers too, you know).

Since "The Casting Couch" is unanimously NOT our best short, there are only two possible explanations for its popularity:

1. A sexually suggestive titles simply gets more hits
2. I'm in the short, thus giving it the "Eric Bump."

Explanation two falls flat when we see that "Hide-n-Seek" is the LEAST popular short, and I'm in that as well. Damn.

And so from now on our titles will have some sort of innuendo subtly hidden within. Stay tuned, and see if you can spot our clever wordplay!

Coming Friday: How to Knock Boots like a Rock Star (and by "Knock Boots" we mean "Have Sex.")

That one is free. The next ones will be harder. Much hard...er...I mean more difficult!

How to be a Rock Star

(Or is Rockstar one word? Real Rock Stars wouldn't ask such questions, I know...)

This is yesterday:

I wrote a short.

Called Lawrence.

We filmed it.

---

Thank god we are neighbors, or weeks like this would be tough.

Coming Friday: How to be a Rock Star - A short film / tutorial (not really)

Short Films 101 - How To Make A Short Film... By Frederick Levy

Lawrence called me not once but twice tonight while I was in the theater watching Reprise (recommend). I called him as soon as I got out.

Me: What's up?
La: We got our first piece of fan mail.
Me: What?
La: Picked up a package addressed to "The Short-a-Week Project" that was at our mailboxes.
Me: Strange. Who's it from?
La: Cathy Morrison or something?
Me: That sounds sorta familiar.

I dropped by his apartment on my way home, and yes, it turned out it was from someone that I knew and not an anonymous fan that had somehow tracked down where we live. Inside the very professional package was Short Films 101: How to Make a Short Film and Launch Your Filmmaking Career by Frederick Levy.

Lawrence was a bit disappointed that it wasn't a crazed teen or famed producer, and I was a little confused - is "filmmaking" a word? - but technically it was still the first thing we've received addressed to The Short-a-Week Project.

So, thanks Carrie. For the book. On how to make short films. One question though:

What are you trying to say? We just made a short inspired by the French New Wave cinema, in case you hadn't noticed.

Oh you had noticed? Hmm. Ok, so we know what you are trying to say, and all we can say is...thanks. We'll read it. I've been looking for a book like this. Seriously.

And if anyone else wants to send fan mail (or "fan gifts" such as Final Cut Pro), you know the address. (Or do you?)

Week 7 - Defense d'Afficher (Post No Bills)

The Short-a-Week Project brings you the short film "Defense d'Afficher" (Post No Bills).

Inspired by the works of Eric Rohmer and the French New Wave cinema comes a unique vision of one man's quest to defy society through a rebellious act.

Running Time 2min, 14sec
Black and White
French with English Subtitles


Defense d'Afficher (Post No Bills)

French Titles are tricky

Turns out that "Post No Bills" is actually translated "Defense d'Afficher"

And that it was already the title of a short film shot in 1896. I kid you not.

Lawrence Speaks French

Lawrence came over to read the subtitles. Turns out when he said "hell yeah I can read French!" (my interpretation of a text message that said "yes" to my question of "can you read French?") he meant that he had only taken a year of French in school, and that was a long time ago.

E = me
L = Lawrence

E: So here's the script, just read the highlighted parts, kinda sexy, kinda serious.
L: Wait, let me read through it first
E: Dude, I thought you knew French.
L: I don't know it that well.
E: We'll do it line by line. So just practice that first line while I set up the voice over.
(a minute later)
E: Ready?
L: I guess.

And then we did it, with the only direction from me coming with "try to make it sound like you speak French."

How'd it turn out? Check out Week 7's "Post No Bills" and decide for yourself.

Security Trailers, Planks, Shots, Wardrobe Changes, and a Short Film Called "Post No Bills"

To clarify even more, here's and addendum to Lawrence's post about what went down that fateful Sunday night/Monday morning.

Eric was back at the apartment by 12:05. He has a text-message from Lawrence at 12:06am. Lawrence likely spent the next 30 minutes deciding what to wear (see post). He then came over. By that time, it was nearly a quarter to one.

There were shots. Oh yes, there were shots.

Eric did not think the trailer was spooky. He thought the possibility that a deranged serial killer was hunkered down inside the trailer - fresh from killing the security guard - waiting for punks to mess with the construction site nearby; he thought that was a little spooky.

Je ne sais what?

I'm looking forward to our little art piece. I think you are too. Yeah you are.

The honest truth is that even though we decided to film only after Eric got back from a concert at 12:45 am and he made (asked?) me to do a shot with him beforehand, the thing we didn't catch on film was how eerily spooky we thought the security trailer on street behind us to be. Already getting ideas, just not sure how legal they are.

Piece-de-resistance-out

Post No Bills (De Ne Pas Poster des Annonces)

So, "Post No Bills" (De Ne Pas Poster des Annonces) is turning out to be a black and white French film; thus the parenthetical French title. Confused? Perhaps a text message exchange from last night will clear things up.

Key:
A is for actor (Lawrence)
D is for director (me)

D: You up? Let's film.
A: Bills?
D: Yeah.
A: Yeah, let's do it. Be there in 10?
D: Okay.
A: What should I wear?
D: Clothes.
A: Like what line of clothes. What's the story with this guy, we decide on that?
D: He's a rebel.

Lawrence doesn't respond.

D: But a reluctant rebel.
A: Hmmm.
D: And he's gay. I mean, blind. (A reference to this video that apparently Lawrence had not seen)
A: Really?
D: No, not really. Just wear anything and come over

We then shot it, to uh, mixed results. We'll see what we can do with this croissant of a film.